We have been married for 10 years, there is a seven -year -old child. At the moment, my husband is not living together with my husband, but there is no official divorce yet. They parted badly. After a month of our separation, his work colleague began to stay for the night. The child told me – when I was visiting dad, she left my father’s bedroom. The next day I talked with my husband that you should not do this when his son was visiting. In response, he began to make excuses that they had nothing, the colleague just had to spend the night.
Now 3 months have passed, she is a frequent guest there, according to his son, who sees dad after the weekend. I can’t understand: why is my husband lying to me?
Irina, the first question that will ask, probably anyone, having read the letter: why are you still not divorced? The answer is important to understand which of you wants to not break your relationship for some reason.
You write that you parted badly and what it means specifically? I would venture to assume that this is due to the reluctance of one of you (or perhaps both) to leave. Because those who want to part do it peacefully and do not pull time. It’s true? With the same fact, I can explain the rather naive attempt by your husband to assure that he and his colleague have nothing.
His behavior, although it looks naive, nevertheless, right now, relevant, makes a psychological trauma to your child. The speed with which you both will see the consequences of this depends only on the strength of the psyche of the child,
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but they are guaranteed to come to puberty.
And to understand your husband, you need to understand yourself first. If you want to save a marriage, then you have similar goals and you can try to discuss this. If you are firmly convinced that such a marriage is not needed, then maybe you should already officially dissolve it? At least not to give this man the baseless hopes that provoke not entirely justified actions.